How often do we feel embarrassed when our children don’t understand when and where to stop a particular behavior? The development of self-control is a cultivated skill.
• Engage in step-by-step activities with your child, such as a board game or following a cooking recipe.
• Encourage children to practice patience. If you are occupied with a task and the child seeks your attention, it is beneficial for them to learn to wait patiently until you can give them your focus.
• Provide verbal or visual cues for the time duration the child needs to wait. Explain to the child that after you finish your task, you will be ready to start the game. Set a timer and clarify that when the time is up, they can play with the specific toy.
• Collaborate to solve a problem. If the child encounters difficulty with a challenging activity, help without taking over the task. Encourage the child to maintain control, even in moments of frustration. Introduce tragedies of self-control that facilitate calming down.
• Work on activities with an extended time frame. Attempt solving a large puzzle in several weeks, or baking bread from scratch, cultivating and nurture a plant, or make petrified candies.
• Demonstrate models of self-control. Acknowledge that adults can become upset and lose their temper but emphasize the importance of remaining calm and composed despite challenging emotions.
• Present alternative suggestions if your child struggles with maintaining proper self- control. For instance, propose playing a different game while waiting for their turn.
Exercise serves as an excellent method to alleviate upset and anger.
• Demonstrate models of self-control. Acknowledge that adults can get upset and lose their temper too. Illustrate to your children that even in moments of frustration or annoyance, you can remain calm and in control.
• Offer alternative suggestions if your child struggles with maintaining proper self-control.
For instance, propose playing a different game while waiting for their turn. Exercise serves as an excellent way to reduce upset and anger.
• Set realistic expectations and consider the child’s age. A young child may find it challenging to maintain self-control while waiting in a long line for candy. Older children might exhibit less self-control after a challenging day at school. Children required to sit for extended periods without the opportunity to relax are more likely to lose self-control. Crowded and noisy places can also pose challenges for children, increasing the risk of losing self-control. Some children may benefit from a sensory diet to aid in improving their self-control.
• Allocate downtime. Children often have packed schedules with school and after-school activities. However, children with overloaded schedules are more prone to experiencing burnout. Grant your children the luxury of time to explore their environments at home and with friends. This creates realistic situations that demand self-control, allowing them to learn and practice this skill.
• Recognize when to step back. It’s essential for children to develop self-control skills independently. When you observe that the child is gaining control, let them proceed on their own without your intervention.
